Four Reasons Why The False Prince’s Opening Works// analyzing story beginnings part 1
Heya, TWNers! Before I get into today’s post, I want to go ahead and let you know about our next free livestream happening tomorrow at 2 PM EDT (New York time) with Allie Jo Andersen. We’ll be discussing tips on how to build your author brand, something I’m very excited to finally take some time to talk about! TWN has only briefly touched on book marketing tips, and I hope this will be the first of more content in that area! Allie Jo Andersen is an author with her work featured in a couple of anthologies (one being TWN’s very own Imagine Anthology!) and is a student at the Author Conservatory. I hope you’ll join us tomorrow!!!
So something very big is coming up at the end of July. Teen Writers’ Nook turns 4 YEARS OLD.
I can’t believe here we are, going on almost four years! I started this blog with my sisters when I was sixteen about to start my senior year of high school, when writing was just a dream and I was ready to give up querying my YA spy novel and I was just hoping to get one reader. And now four years later, Teen Writers’ Nook has readers all over the world, we’ve published an anthology, hosted a “writers rally” with authors like Melanie Cellier and Hannah Currie, and are branching into the social media world starting with our YouTube streams. I’m no longer a teenager, now holding an Associates degree, been published twice, and have signed on with a publisher for my debut historical fiction novel. I don’t say that to brag but because when I look back over the last four years, I’m in awe at how God took a dream I didn’t think was going anywhere and used it beyond ways I could imagine. The last four years have been rocky, and I’m sure y’all are all aware I haven’t been the best at being consistent here (some of that being due to life circumstances maybe I’ll talk about one day), but it’s almost been four years and the thing that astounds me the most is this:
Teen Writers’ Nook is still here.
People are still reading. People still care. TWN is still making an impact.
And that astounds me in ways I can never explain. So I want to say thank you. Thank you for reading, for supporting, for being a part of Teen Writers’ Nook because YOU are what makes this place so awesome. You are why I’m here, why I’m still writing for this blog. Why Teen Writers’ Nook is one of the few things that hasn’t changed in my life over the last four years.
So I wanted to do something special. The first blog post I wrote for TWN was titled “Where to Begin.” It was about how to open up your story, focusing specifically on those first lines. That post is still up on TWN (though I’m hoping you aren’t going to check it out after this because it’s really, really bad), and I can’t help but think of it as the post that started it all. The post that’s why I’m writing right here, why I’m about to participated in TWN’s third livestream of the summer, and I thought about dragging it out of the archives for a repost. I decided against it, mostly because I haven’t read that post in years and don’t think I’m ready to cringe yet, but I thought instead, why not do a second post about story beginnings? I’ve learned so much in the last four years, this post would reflect that. Well, I’ve noticed lately that one of the ways I like to teach writing is not by telling you what to do but by showing you books that have done it amazingly and analyzing what exactly they did and what we can learn from it. Which leads me to today’s post. Where to Begin 2.0
The False Prince by Jennifer A. Nielsen
I think it should be no surprised that The False Prince had to take a spot on this list. Throughout most of high school, this was my favorite novel of all time, and while in recent years, I have talked about it less than I used to, it’s still one that holds a close place in my heart and I recommend it all the time. The False Prince is one of those novels that’s so genius-ly written that I can’t help but use it frequently when giving writing advice, and it’s opening is one of those reasons why. It holds the perfect blend of introducing the story to us while withholding enough to leave us turning pages. But I’m getting ahead of myself. I’m going to introduce four reasons why I think this opening is so compelling!
🌟 The plot starts at the right place – it’s interesting without being confusing
I often see stories falling in one of two places. Either the opening is dull and drags the story on and on, making it hard for readers to continue past fifty pages or the action starts too quickly, leaving the readers lost at what is happening and why. Which can still lead them in giving up on the story too soon. Finding that perfect spot can be difficult. I’ve heard people say before that you should start your story the moment before the exciting stuff happens. Basically, it should start close enough to your “inciting incident” that readers won’t be bored but still have enough space from it that readers can learn about the characters and world before diving headfirst into the plot.
The False Prince does this exceptionally well! From the first chapter, we’re introduced to Sage, an orphan boy who’s currently trying to run from the butcher whom he just stole from.
If I had to do it all over again, I would not have chosen this life. Then again, I’m not sure I ever had a choice.
These were my thoughts as I raced away from the market, with a stolen roast tucked under my arm.
~Opening sentences of The False Prince by Jennifer A. Nielsen
We’re not at the main plot yet, but something is still happening and we’re curious to know more. First off, why didn’t Sage have a choice about his life? Why is he stealing a roast from the market? Nielsen is very clever in this opening because rather than make us spend the time dwelling on these questions and wondering if we should keep reader, she has us hooked in the action of the moment. I doubt many readers put the book down if they were curious to see if Sage was able to steal the roast or not. Even through the entirety of the first chapter, Nielsen plays her cards right because as soon as the initial intrigue of the opening is finished, we have now a new problem to solve as a man named Bevin Conner shows up out of nowhere and takes Sage, along with four other orphan boys, forcing them to travel with him to his estate. For a reason, none of them knows. If you thought you would quit reading after the initial opening, you may find yourself less inclined to do so now. At least, not until you first figure out what Conner’s plan is!
Conner shook his head. “Patience, Sage. Patience is the mark of a ruler.”
And that was my first clue about why Conner had taken us. We were all in terrible danger.
~The False Prince by Jennifer A. Nielsen
🌟 Character Voice
If the plot didn’t convince you to keep reading, chances are Sage’s character alone might have. From early on, we can tell that Sage is not going to be our typical hero. Rather than a hero who exhibits all the qualities of what is moral and right, who we know we should root for because he will be the one opposing evil, Sage is not quite a hero. He’s sneaky, clever, and clearly more concerned about himself than anyone else. He steals and lies and talks back to everyone around him, either without considering the consequences or not caring. Yet at the same time, it’s his uniqueness as a protagonist that makes him intriguing. We may not be endeared to him right away, but he probably got a chuckle out of you at least a few times. He’s larger than life which means he’s going to grab attention. Even in the first chapter, Sage steals the spotlight with one of his classic snarky remarks that is still one of my favorite moments in the book.
“Next time I checked on [Sage], he’d gotten over the fever on his own and was a good deal more humble.”
Conner looked at me again. “He doesn’t look so humble now.”
“I got over that too,” I said.
~The False Prince by Jennifer A. Nielsen
So why would a character like Sage immediately intrigue us to keep reading? Well, first of all because he’s original which means we can’t predict what he’s going to do or what kind of trouble he can get into. The only thing we know for certain is that he probably will get into trouble and the book is not going to be boring with him taking the lead. The second reason, I believe, is because if you can’t hook someone from the plot or the character, you can usually at least get them for the humor. I noticed this myself with a book I had read recently, Everything’s Coming Up, Josey by Susan May Warren. From the first chapter, I knew this was going to be a book I’d enjoy and stick with for the long haul for no other reason than Josey had a humorous character voice that was entertaining to read. And I was right. Even though there were several parts of the book I didn’t enjoy that much and things I wished had been done differently, I still gave it four stars. My favorite part? Josey’s humor and character voice!
🌟Emotional Connection
I recently touched on this in the last livestream I was on about female protagonists where I mentioned one of the ways to get us to like a protagonist, especially one with an unlikable personality, is to use the “Save the Cat” moment. While Sage doesn’t have his “Save the Cat” moment from the start, there is still an emotional connection established. A reason readers may have continued reading the book is because they can’t help but want to see Sage succeed. His circumstances make us feel sympathetic to him, and that’s really all you need to establish readers who will stick to the end. Give them something to root for—make them feel for your character’s situation where they are desperate to watch him succeed! It’s a secret hack to drawing your readers into the story.
I mean, think about it. Why do so many characters have tragic backstories or circumstances?
*whispers* because it works 😉
For Sage, he is an orphan boy living in poor circumstances with little food (hence why he stole the roast) and no one who cares about him. It makes us sympathetic because maybe the reason he’s acting the way he does, maybe why he only cares about himself, is because no one has ever cared for him and it’s his way to put on a brave act, pretend like it doesn’t bother him, and play the tough guy. While at the same time, his circumstances has helped him perfect that “tough act” because he’s had to be that way in order to survive. His world needs to change and we as the reader want to see that happen. And the only way we’re going to see it is if we stick through the book.
Bam!
🌟All the questions!
So let’s say you went through the first chapter of The False Prince and the plot didn’t immediately grab you, you are more irritated with Sage than anything, and you really couldn’t care less if he got what was coming to him. There’s still one more way Nielsen invites the readers to come in a little closer, to read just a little more. By the end of the first chapter, we are left with more questions than answers. Yes, we know Sage is an orphan boy nearing fifteen, that he’s had a hard life and it’s made him rough around the edges. We know there’s this nobleman named Bevin Conner who wants Sage for some unknown reason, and that’s where chapter one ends.
But who is Bevin Conner really? What is his plan? How does Sage fit into this and is Sage really going to go along with it because he seems to be the fighter spirit? And if Sage tries to push back, will he be able to get away with it? How far is Conner going to go to get what he wants?
I closed my eyes, horrified that my suspicions might be true. Conner was holding us on the brink of treason.
~The False Prince by Jennifer A. Nielsen
Some of this is answered pretty early on. We learn of Conner’s plot to place a puppet prince on the throne. We know Sage has been selected among three other orphan boys because of his physical similarities. We know that Sage is going to try to push back at every turn.
And we learn from almost the start that Conner is willing to kill to see his plan succeed.
Even though questions have been answered, now more have taken their place. Why is Conner so certain his plan will succeed? Will Sage be chosen to pretend to be the lost prince or will he fail and be killed? If he is chosen, will he succeed? CAN anyone even succeed? And how badly do the other orphans want to win? How far will they go to succeed? Is there anyone Sage can trust?
And this book continues in a similar cycle. Nielsen gives us questions. Then we find out the answers. But before those answers are learned, we already have more questions to replace them. Curiosity gets readers every time. And you know the only way they’re going to find the answers?
Keep. Reading.
The False Prince is one of many books that has an opening that sucks me into the story every time. My goal was that by doing a deep dive into the novel’s first couple of chapters, it would help spark a discussion on what does an opening really need to hook the reader. And we can learn this not just from one book, but from studying many and seeing their similarities and differences. Which is why my plan is to expand this into a four-part mini series. I want to cover the openings of four of my favorite stories to discover what is their secret to grabbing the readers! I hope you’ll join me for my next one where I’m breaking down the opening for The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins!
So let’s keep the conversation going! What’s your favorite novel opening? Do you like this style of teaching writing by analyzing stories? If so, would you like to see more like this? Who else can’t believe it’s been almost 4 years of Teen Writers’ Nook? Let’s talk about it in the comments below!
Issabelle Perry
Issabelle Perry is a proud Jesus follower, an extroverted writer, and a homeschool graduate. When she's not writing, you can find her reading, jamming to Skillet, studying history, hunting for Narnia in wardrobes, or envisioning herself wielding a magnificent sword (but due to her clumsiness, let’s hope that never happens). This self-proclaimed exclamation mark enthusiast can be found hanging out at Teen Writers’ Nook, a community of teen authors Issabelle co-founded in 2020. She is the author of Don't Let Me Go (Sky's the Limit Press 2024), May We Make Them Proud (2023), and a co-editor for two anthologies. What she’s probably doing right now is fangirling about her favorite books to random people or scanning the pantries for chocolate.
12 Comments
Hannah Ruth
I’ve always LOVED the opening of Heart of the Crown by Hannah Currie. It’s super cute, it catches your attention, and it pretty immediately sets up the main conflict of the story. Plus, it’s a sweet moment between Ben and Kenna. Let the fangirling begin!
Issabelle Perry
Ooo YESSS!!!! Heart of a Crown has an amazing opening!! I need to reread that book again and use it as a future book analyzing post because I feel there’s so many great tips I could pull from it! Hannah Currie is an incredible writer!!! YESSSS!!!!!! Okay but like every moment with Ben and Kenna on the page was just ADORABLE. those two were sooo perfect together! *goes into fangirling mode*
Courtney
YES!!!!!!!! This opening worked SO WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And it is so memorble. I still prefer the “I had arrived early for my own assassination” opening from TRK, but I know, that isn’t the opening of the series.
Once I was attempting to read this book aloud to my baby sister, and she wasn’t having it, so she took the book out of my hands. When I just kept going, she gave the book back. Honestly, I couldn’t have recited THAT much more of the book word-for-word, so I was lucky that she handed it back when she did. Now that trilogy is one of her favorites!!!!!!!
Issabelle Perry
YESSSSSSS I DEFINITELY AGREE!!!! *high fives* Oh my goodness, yesss! I think the opening for TRK, especially its first line, might just be better for TFP!! I would’ve loved to analyze it, but since it was the second book and I’m not sure how many of my readers have even read the first one is why I didn’t.
Aah I LOVE that so much!!!! I think that’s awesome you have some of the parts memorize! I’ve got nearly the whole opening first page of TFP memorized and a few paragraphs/moments in The Shadow Throne. Plus like every one of Sage’s most clever snarky moments I use all the time. XD And that’s awesome that your sister is a fan of the series too!!! *high fives* I’m still working on trying to get my baby sister to read it. 😉
Diamond
Congrats on almost 4 years!
First lines are tricky to nail, but there are definitely some that stand out. Great analysis!
Issabelle Perry
Thank you SO much, Diamond!!!
You’re SO right about them being tricky! I feel like I sit on the first line of a book more than any other line! Thank you so much!
Adalynn
Love this post!! And wow, FOUR YEARS of TWN?!?! That’s crazy!!! Congratulations!!! Thank you so much for keeping it going. TWN is one of the main things that helped me stick with my writing, and I still consider it one of my favorite resources. 😄 God bless!! <333
Issabelle Perry
Thank you SO much, Adalynn!!! I KNOW RIGHT. I can’t believe it’s been that long!!! It honestly feels like just yesterday I was writing that first post, dreaming about having a blog and now here we are!!! Thank youuuu!!!!!! Aw, of course!! I am so honored that TWN has played an important part of your writing life and journey!!! We’re SO glad you found us and have found the resources helpful!!!! Thank you SO much!!! God bless you as well. <333
Ceryna
I loved this post, I struggle with writing beginnings. I’ve never read Heart of a Crown but I’ve heard sooooo much about it.
I loved the opening to Linked by Gordon Korman (have you read it? It’s soooooo so so so good. If you can’t tell by my fangirling, it is excellent) I like this style, but I feel like a lot of people use it on their blogs so I’m torn, either way, I’m sure the blog will stay great. I just joined the blogosphere (is that a word?) last December so I honestly feel like the blog has only been around for like 7 months, lol. Congrats for 4 amazing years by the way.
One last question, are you a Duck Dynasty fan? You use a lot of memes and that’s coming from the ultimate Duck Dynasty meme user…I love the show.
Issabelle Perry
Yaay! I am SO thrilled to hear you loved the post, Ceryna!!!! Ooo you DEFINITELY should read Heart of a Crown someday!! It’s AMAZING and one of my all-time favorite reads. Ben and Mackenna are adorable together! I think you’d really like it!
I haven’t read Linked yet, but I definitely should!! I read my first Gordon Korman book this year (Ungifted) and loved it so I’m in need of more Korman reads!!! I’ll see if my library has Linked! Ah yes, I get that! People may us this style more because I find it easier to teach by comparing what’s already been done than coming up with things on my own, lol, but I can definitely divide the posting time with different ways of teaching writing. So nothing’s overdone ya know. 😁 Oo nice! And blogosphere is definitely a word we use in the blogging community. =) Haha, I totally get that! Honestly, even though I’ve been writing for here since the beginning, even to me it feels like it’s only been a couple of months!! Aww thank you SO much, Ceryna!!!
YESSSSS!!!! I LOVE Ducky Dynasty!!!! *gasp* Really? That’s amazing! I love meeting a fellow Duck Dynasty fan and I think that’s AWESOME that you use their memes a lot! They are hilarious! *high fives*
Ceryna
Hey Issabelle, can you delete my first comment? I wrote it, then thought it didn’t load up so I just wrote another similar one… then I saw that it actually had loaded. I stink at technology. Sorry for the mix up.
Issabelle Perry
Yep, not a problem! I’ll go delete it! and that’s probably my fault for the mix up. 😅 I was in the middle of replying to comments the other day, but stopped halfway because I was called away for something and forgot to return to the comment section, lol.